5 Back To School Myths Debunked
Plus, subsidize your school supplies by subjecting your kids to medical experimentation!
It’s been a restless summer.
Corrupt politicians have carpal tunnel from typing up unconstitutional indictments, Chinese kids’ hands are sore from making back-to-school clothes, and propagandists have been preparing for students to return to their brainwashing facilities this fall.
Such as the folks at The Lincoln Project, a super political action committee started in 2019 with one simple mission:
Stop Donald Trump.
Common tactics include memes, posting on social media, or creating short videos.
And if they aren’t attacking the former president directly, then they’re criticizing policies from Republican lawmakers.
And that’s what they’ve done this back-to-school season.
On August 14th, precisely at 8:00 AM, just as the morning bell rang, they released a short satirical video about book banning, how schools teach slavery, trans athletes, and school violence.
People who pay attention, even casually, easily see the video offers nothing but strawman arguments.
But this video isn’t intended to educate opposing positions or strengthen their own.
It’s for people who don’t do their own research.
Like your kids.
Let’s see what brain-busters they have for us this year.
Debunking Myths
1-Book Banning
The first topic covered is book censorship in schools.
The narrator says, “Say goodbye to boring woke books, like Fahrenheit 451. In fact, just burn ‘em!”
Then, a few popular titles scroll across the screen.
But none of these books have been under fire for wokeness, or boredom, for that matter. However, they have been subjected to censorship.
To Kill A Mockingbird is about a white lawyer representing a black man in a case where a white woman falsely claimed he raped her in 1960s Biloxi, Mississippi. The novel was limited to older audiences in some schools for its use of adult themes, foul language, and racial slurs.
Of Mice And Men is about two migrant workers searching for farm work in California during The Great Depression, but has also tangled with bans due to vulgar language and violence.
The Catcher And The Rye was written for adults, although assigned to many high school reading classes. It’s about a 16-year-old kid kicked out of prep school and struggling with adolescence, usually limited to older students.
None of these titles are involved in the current culture war.
And few people are trying to remove them from public schools.
Its books like Gender Queer that we don’t want in the hands of young readers:
See the difference?
2-Slavery Provided Skills
Next up is the recycled idea that conservatives wish to teach kids that we should censor the horrors of slavery as it makes students uncomfortable.
Which is entirely off base.
They’re referencing Florida’s 2023 State Academic Standards, which does nothing of the sort.
It only says that instruction shall include that some slaves developed skills that could be used to their advantage.
Full details here:
3-Removing Free and Reduced Lunch Programs
Next, the narrator suggests that low-income kids will go hungry as Republicans seek to remove free and reduced meal options.
But, as expected, there’s more to the story.
Traditionally, school districts receive funding through a flat credit, regardless of the student’s household income level.
This created prime conditions for fraud.
So lawmakers are trying to limit funding only to those that need it:
4-Trans Sports
At this point in the video, they rely on generalizations without specific references.
The narrator switches to the transgender athlete argument, “GOP lawmakers want to make sure your genitals match the teams.”
As if that’s unreasonable.
It’s perfectly reasonable as biological males continue to smash women’s records, ensuring only men could beat the goal or even come close.
Aside from that, biological males continue to traumatize young girls by displaying their genitals in locker rooms.
That is why most Americans oppose trans athletes in women’s sports.
5-Violence in Schools
The syllabus wouldn’t be complete without blaming school violence on Republican policymakers.
“Save 20% on our Republican bulletproof backpacks,” she says, as they feature a small boy demonstrating how to take cover.
While a Kevlar-lined Spiderman backpack is a great idea, it wouldn’t be necessary if we guarded schools half as much as we did banks.
And we wouldn’t need extreme security if broken homes, poor nutrition, drugs, and mental health didn’t damage our culture.
Bonus: Get Paid To Boost Your Kids!
Hey kids, did mom and dad have to skimp on the school supplies because you can barely pay for groceries?
Ask them to enroll you in medical experimentation!
Concerned about adverse side effects?
Don’t worry. Just sign a waiver saying the study, school, or pharmaceutical company can’t be responsible for any negative side effects.
And don’t forget to start stocking up on masks made in this super sanitary lab!
And if you have some extra cash, why not insert a device into your child to stop puberty?
With Trump’s arrest and mugshot, it already seems he’s gained more followers.
But that won’t keep organizations like The Lincoln Project from lying to you or your kids.
It’s going to be a wild school year.
Happy Monday!