"No, it's not a joke. It's sexual harassment, and I don't have to take it." Do you remember the sexual harassment commercials from the 1990s? She's right, sexual harassment isn't a joke, but the double standard for women in the 21st century is quite the laugh.
If you took a moment to watch or recall, you see they're pretty bad. I mean, yes, it's good to shine a light on the problem, but I don't know if these exaggerated scenarios helped.
But what did I know when they flashed across my tube as a 10-year-old child? Did adults take them seriously?
I can't imagine they did.
It's true. These advertisements aired in an era when women had only worked professionally on a large scale for a relatively short time.
In the 1960s and 1970s, women continued to break gender barriers and still do today. Just look at the White House. We have our first female Vice President-her ratings are awful-but we broke the VPOTUS barrier.
Anyway. Although women took new jobs and progressed overall, they faced another battle: sexual harassment at work.
Just to be super clear, I'm all for women's rights, and we can't live without them. And not just in the sense of human preservation.
Hell, we wouldn't have won World War 2 if it weren't for women.
But what was the good fight for equality just a few years ago is now a double standard for women.
What is Sexual Harassment?
Sexual harassment could mean many things to many people. But let's get a dictionary definition to set a baseline.
Most of us can agree on that, I'd expect.
Now that we're on the same page let's see where we find the double standard for women in today's world.
Female Sexual Harassment in the Entertainment Industry
If you're familiar with hit productions like Superman, The Witcher, or The Tudors, you know of Mr. Henry Cavill.
I missed them myself, but from what I've seen in interviews and clips, I'd say he's a skilled actor that takes his craft seriously.
But check out this brief video, it’s only 3 minutes. You don’t need watch the whole thing, just enough so you can see what I'm talking about.
That's right, three minutes of Henry taking sexually charged comments and questions on major networks with female A-listers.
Would any of that fly if male actors treated females like that?
Can you imagine if Cavill, or any other male actor for that matter, touched Adams' leg and asked her if she was concerned that people wouldn't appreciate her work because of her looks?
Oh man. How the hellfire would rain.
They'd re-open the execution chamber at the Tower of London for an hour, just for Henry.
It's a shame because I think Adams is a highly talented artist. Did you see Sharp Objects, by the way?
I'm not boycotting Amy Adams, but these things introduce a new dynamic to the performer-to-consumer relationship.
Now I know why Daniel Day-Lewis stayed in the shadows.
But that's not the worst part. The real loss is Henry knows he can't say anything. The double standard for sexual harassment says that Cavill, as a straight white man, deserves the comments, and he probably enjoys it.
Or at least he can take it.
Cavill must know this and may even want to speak out. But he'll become a target, and he could lose his career entirely.
People won't hire him, and other actors won't associate with him.
It's the very reason so many women don't want to report sexual harassment. Because if they did, they could become an outcast.
How do you think Harvey Weinstein took advantage of those Hollywood women? He held the key to their LA dream, and he used it against them.
In the Workplace
Whether you've worked in the corporate world, public service, or at your local McDonald's, we've all had similar sexual harassment training.
Unless you worked for Coca-Cola in 2020. Yes, I know it wasn't mandatory training, but neither voluntary nor required racism is OK by me.
As I was saying, we've seen the onboarding videos, stayed awake during the PowerPoint presentations, and signed the papers.
But instead of creating equality, the training makes many men, and people in general, walk on eggshells around the workplace.
Instead of educating us, it instills fear in male employees.
We could once give a simple, non-sexual compliment on a woman's new hair color. But we now only ask if the hair color changed, without providing an opinion.
Now we make comments similar to how Dan Akroyd's character from The Coneheads might:
"The hue of your head fibers has shaded since I last communicated with you. Have a great day."
Then we walk backward out of the breakroom with our heads bowed and dare not turn around until we leave the fair lady's sight.
But of course, women get in hot water over sexual harassment claims as well.
However, while sexual harassment cases in the US workforce have declined since 2018, male reports are on the uptick.
More male complaints could be due to more males feeling comfortable speaking up.
In 2019, a 22-year-old male Chipotle employee received a $95,000 settlement after a sexual harassment suit against his former female boss.
According to the US Equal Employment Opportunity Commission, the female boss regularly made verbal and physical advances.
In the Military
Anyone who says women don't belong in the military does not know history.
Without women, I'd probably be typing this in German, but of course we wouldn’t even have the United States without them.
Now, I'm sure you've seen the woman in the title image, Rosie the Riveter.
While we don't have a confirmed identity, the US used her in a job recruiting campaign throughout World War 2 to boost the workforce.
As most fighting-age males were flying the wild blue yonder or pounding the ground in Europe, they left many crucial jobs behind.
Women filled roles from munitions development to telecommunications on the homefront, while others went overseas to work in medical jobs.
But critical as women were to the war effort, they weren't officially US military members until 1948.
Still, even after proving themselves over and over, they faced sexism, even to this day.
Just look at Fort Hood, for starters.
Countless female service members of all branches and ranks are victims of sexual harassment by males and females at installations around the world.
And scores of males and females feel that keeping quiet is best for their careers and relationships.
But according to studies from Dr. Nathan Galbreath, Senior Executive Advisor to the Department of Defense Sexual Assault Prevention and Response Office, data shows men are victims more than you might think.
"In 2006, we estimated there were 34,000 service members who experienced some form of sexual assault, whether that was a contact crime, like groping, or a penetrative crime, like rape," Dr. Galbreath said. "After further analysis, we realized that 14,000 of those 34,000 members were women and 20,000 of those 34,000 members were men. That was a sobering statistic."-Dr. Nathan Galbreath
My point is not to assign a winner for most sexual harassment cases. I'm saying that we must treat sexual harassment for what it is, not perpetuate a double standard that serves nobody.
Sexual harassment is a human problem, and to ignore one group over the other fails to demand accountability for toxic behavior.
Education Systems
"I think of all the education that I missed, but then my homework was never quite like this."-Van Halen
Not many songs describe the teacher-student relationship, quite like Van Halen's 1984 hit "Hot for Teacher."
It's generally socially acceptable for male students to have crushes on female teachers. But there's a double standard for women present in schools.
South Park illustrates this perfectly in a 2006 episode where Kyle reports his teacher has a sexual relationship with a student.
The police officers quickly jump up in excitement when they hear this.
"Who's the teacher, son? What's his name?" a detective asks eagerly.
"Well, it isn't a guy teacher. It's a woman, and she's having sex with a boy."
Once the officers learn the offender is an attractive woman, they go from ready to pounce to complimenting the student on his acheivement.
While this story is fictional, the timing of its release suggests it represents Debra Lafave, a 24-year-old teacher that landed in court for having a sexual relationship with a 14-year-old boy in 2005. She received a series of probations and supervisions for the assault.
But is there a disparity between punishments for female and male offenders in the education system?
According to a study by Arizona State University, it appears so.
In 2012 ASU and Christopher Simmon compiled a report of 12 male and female teachers in Maricopa County, AZ that committed sexual misconduct with students between 2000 and 2009.
Although the sample is small, the study explains why female offenders may receive less harsh penalties for sexual misconduct with students.
A 50,000-foot view of the report says females receive a pass because society gives them one.
Just as the South Park episode illustrates.
But there are some interesting points to add.
Number one is judicial paternalism, meaning male judges may be more lenient to female offenders because they could rule with a fatherly mindset.
Another idea is judges may hand down minimal sentences when the female offender has children, as they don't want to separate them from their mothers.
As males and sex offenders independently receive harsher punishments overall, it makes sense why we see this double standard for women play out in our schools and care facilities.
In Everyday Life
I could research individual stories and studies on the double standard for women all day.
But while you may have learned something new, you've already seen this double standard play out in everyday life.
Especially if you've worked in retail or food service.
How many male customers comment, "I'm just doing what my wife says," or "I'll have to ask the boss."
And how often do you see those sorry men sitting around a couch in the mall or Target, waiting for hours like dogs tied to a pole at the farmers market?
What if men leave their wives waiting at Ace Hardware, hungry and thirsty?
Or take some of the most common marriage advice.
"The more often you just say 'yes dear,' the easier life will be."
Or "happy wife, happy life."
Maybe you've even seen it on the news. Here's a good one.
But it's just a joke, right?
And what do human resources people say over and over again? "It's not OK, even if you're joking."
This double standard is a joke.
This Double Standard Laughs in the Face of Progress
Yes, we realize history wasn't fair for women, but punishing future men doesn't favor the oppressed women of yesterday.
Would our great-great-grandmothers be happy that we treat their great-great-grandsons with the same unfair treatment in the name of "progress?"
I think not.
So we raise a glass to Rosie the Riveter and thank her and all the women she represents for advancing women's rights and helping to preserve freedom.
But we must also apologize that her grandkids now use her hard work and real progress to perpetuate an unfair double standard for women just 75 years later.
Sorry, Rosie.