Santa Inc Has Ratings In The Toilet. Here's Why.
Trust me, I saw it. Let this be your spoiler alert.
The people have spoken, and we have a new titleholder for the worst-rated show on IMDB: HBO's Santa Inc.
You can watch the trailer for the new adult animation series and see for yourself why that might be.
But I did you one better. I watched it. Yes, the whole thing. And I’d rather watch this Microsoft Word walk-through from 1989. No seriously, it’s kind of funny and received a better response.
Now, IMDB isn't the only bearer of bad news here. For more proof, head over to Rotten Tomatoes, where they have a 4% rating.
Or, check out the trailer on YouTube and read between the lines. Let's see, the comments are off, and it has around 4,400 likes for 910,000 views as I write this.
I'm not a YouTube expert, but I know that's not evidence of a well-received program.
So I did it. I had to know how Santa Inc earned the belt for the worst-rated show of all time.
Santa Inc's Premise
As we see in the trailer, an elf flashes Santa as the townsfolk welcome him home in the first episode.
OK, something for the adults, maybe it can be funny.
But then they immediately throw an anti-vaxxer and holocaust denier joke at us.
Here we go. It makes sense already.
Let's stop for a second to consider the original purpose of movies and television.
What's the point?
To entertain. We watch the silver screen, or black screen, to escape life. For a short time, we seek to go into another world for a laugh, cry, or scare.
But that ain't happening on HBO's watch.
HBO, Seth Rogen, Sarah Silverman, and everyone else involved in this won't let you forget for a second that woke culture must be kept top of mind.
Even at the North Pole.
Still, I held out hope that maybe Seth Rogen and Sarah Silverman didn't get a fair shake.
I mean, I can take jokes. If you're a fan of comedy, you can't only laugh at other people's expense. For example, Dave Chappelle's white guy impression is among my favorites.
But it's not going to be a joke or two, is it, HBO?
It's the whole premise of Santa Inc.
In the Santa Inc universe, the role of Santa Clause is a form of office, similar to the presidency.
"The position of Santa has always been a white man's game." You’ll remember the quote from the trailer.
And that's the basis for this show.
Flawed From the Start
Now we know the idea. Sarah Silverman's character, Candy Smalls, seeks election for the next Santa Claus.
And Candy not only wants to break barriers but also to expose the corruption at the North Pole. For example, Santa's helpers give the reindeer methamphetamines for their trip around the world.
That's how they go to every house on Earth in one night. That’ll do it.
But here's the thing. Santa already had a successor before the storyline started.
In the trailer, do you remember when that guy introduces Santa as the biggest in "snow" biz?
That’s Brent, Santa's successor. Yes, the black guy.
So before this whole thing started, Seth Rogen's Santa Clause had already selected the first black Santa.
The problem is, Brent visited Jeff Bezos, and Bezos offered Brent a job at Amazon.
So when the press questioned Santa on his choice for successor, it was in response to Brent leaving. Not that Santa was getting old, as Santa suggested.
The end to the evil white man's monopoly was already in sight.
Had the successor stayed, then social justice would have been done, right?
If Candy really cared about breaking that barrier, she would have rallied to get Brent to come back from Amazon and make history.
But she didn't. She made it about herself under the guise of “women’s rights.”
Maybe Santa Inc is Better for Teens
I'm not a prude, trust me.
But you need more than crude material to be funny. At least if you want to cater to most adults.
So I think they designed this for 14-year-old boys.
Because when Santa Inc isn't pushing woke culture, they're just making foul jokes with no originality.
Sure, there were a couple of exceptions.
For example, the doorbell elves made me half-smile, as did the Amazon drone and maybe the morphine joke in the hospital.
But other than that, they're just making simple sexual references and expecting us to laugh.
Consider Jingle Jim, one of Santa's top aides. Jingle Jim is gay. Great, I support that 100%.
But Jingle Jim's entire identity is based on him being gay.
He makes gay references and jokes. That's about it.
Yeah, we get it. Jingle Jim is gay. Hilarious.
Can we get a few original jokes from comedy writers?
Nope. We get a bunch of mob signaling instead. Such as when Candy points out "uninteresting white male choice" at the North Pole. Or the reference to AOC as a secret code word. (Don't worry about the details, it's dumb.)
This stuff isn't funny, and it just serves to let everyone know that HBO and Santa Inc are on board with the woke mob.
Not to entertain you.
What Happens?
Well, folks, I'm sorry to report that Candy Smalls did not break the "candy cane ceiling." Not my joke-that's the title of the last two episodes.
See? They can be clever at times.
Anyway, when I realized that Candy wouldn't be the first female Santa, I felt surprised. For about 3 seconds. Then I realized why she failed, and I'm sure you can figure out why before the next section.
Now, Santa Clause's reasoning for not selecting Candy as successor was that she wasn't great with kids. Makes sense.
During the show, Santa has a heart attack and ends up in the hospital. When everyone visits, Santa notices that the kids don't love Candy Smalls.
And after all, aren't the kids the centerpiece to Christmas? At least the mainstream version?
Who was good with kids? Devin was. Of course, since Devin is a white male, they made him an overly-optimistic idiot.
Anyway, Devin worked at the North Pole with aspirations of being the next Santa and even followed in Santa's footsteps by joining his fraternity "Igma Loo" in college.
(They can be funny, but they choose not to be.)
Devin wins the role of Santa because kids love him, but Devin is also a fat white guy.
So we have a super dedicated candidate, fat and jolly, and excellent with kids.
And Candy blames her failure on racism and sexism. She doesn't really care about what's best for the kids.
Only that she wins.
The Truth
Give up on why Candy didn't break the candy cane ceiling?
Have you ever seen a dog chasing a rabbit? What about a dog that actually corners the rabbit? Sure, some kill the poor thing, but most become confused.
Why? Because they enjoyed the chase more than catching the bunny, and the hunt gave them something to do.
They have a purpose.
Candy and her woke supporters are all bunny-chasing dogs.
When we become more concerned with the means than the ends, we push the ends off for as long as possible.
Why am I analyzing this cartoon so much? Well, because I'm not really talking about the cartoon, am I?
The animation and views of Santa Inc represent real people with real views in the real world.
And we fans are tired of this woke nonsense.
And that's why Santa Incs ratings are in the toilet. It's not 12 guys burning crosses in Mississippi, and it's not a crazy minister spewing racist nonsense at a pulpit with a Swastika draped over it in rural Minnesota.
Santa Inc is simply not funny and pushes woke agenda over everything.
The creators at HBO didn't sit down and say, "Hey, let's make a new Christmas special with claymation, but make it for adults so they can have something fresh when the kids fall asleep.”
No, they said, "Hey, let's see if we can bring our woke nonsense to the fictional life of the North Pole."
Seth Rogen tweeted the following after Santa Incs release:
If Seth replaced white supremacists with "people," the statement would be accurate. I mean, check out the comments. They do confirm that people hated it. But nothing about white supremacy.
It seems that to members of the woke mob, the only people that could criticize Santa Inc are white supremacists.
Rogen goes even further by anticipating a negative response from people by saying, "please see responses to this tweet for confirmation." As if he knew we'd hate it, hedging his bets.
In Santa Inc, the white man won. If anything, this is probably any white supremacists new favorite Christmas show. But guess what, there aren’t enough white supremacists to sway the ratings.
Even in the Santa Inc universe, where HBO has complete creative control over everything, they still let the white man win.
Why? Because they want racism and sexism. Without it, they don't have a reason for control.
As soon as the candy cane ceiling breaks, or when a black man takes the presidency, they move the goalposts.
Seth Rogen and HBO aren’t afraid of white supremacy. They're afraid of cornering that rabbit.